In relationships it becomes increasingly easier to take our partners for granted and overlook the fact that they are with us because they choose to be, not because they have to be or because we want them to. It’s normal to fall into a routine with long-term partners in particular for no other reason than comfort. No, you don’t have as much sex as you did when you first got together, but this is not an automatic negative. It means you have other things in common, hooray! As months and years pass it’s normal for passion to take a break, just remember to stoke the fire from time to time.
At the beginning of any relationship both people are on their best behavior and consistently try to impress the other, this part often gets lost down the line because, hey ya got ‘em and they’re not going anywhere. Significant others are not like cars or books, they do not belong to you as if they are bought and paid for; they have a complex existence, just like you, and they are free to stay or go as they please, just like you. Show them the significance in significant other, remind them that they’re still the one.
When someone loves you it doesn’t take much to impress them, be it four years or fifty years. A simple gesture to remind them that you care about them is all it takes. You don’t have to wait for anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, or birthdays to give flowers, trinkets, or love notes. If you both have the night off, buy tickets to that movie you both want to see and take them on a surprise date, write a note on the bathroom mirror, leave a token of affection on their windshield, do anything except nothing.
If you’re on the other end of the conversation communicate what you’ve been feeling with classic I-statements. “I need more attention”, “I don’t feel as important as I used to”, or an upfront “I’m unhappy in this relationship.” Sometimes a person just needs to know that they need to up their game, but even the most perceptive person isn’t psychic.